Feb 3, 2016

Ridiculous Victorian Etiquette Rules

1. The most famously ridiculous item of a Victorian woman's wardrobe was the crinoline. As a substitute for layers of heavy petticoats, these wide steel-constructed domed cages held women's skirts far from their legs. Such devices made it easy to use the chamber pot, perhaps, but maneuvering in small spaces became a challenge. Women also had to relearn how to sit elegantly. Nevertheless, it was the popular fashion, and every fine upper class lady had one. Later in the century, fashion favored crinolines, which propped up just the rear of the dress.

2. Strict guidelines governed social interaction on promenades and public thoroughfares, especially between the sexes. A young unmarried woman would not go out without an escort. Etiquette forbade young ladies from looking around for acquaintances or stopping to chat in a crowded thoroughfare.

3. Proper introductions were important to Victorians, as it was generally considered improper to address someone to whom you hadn't been formally presented. Social inferiors were presented to social superiors in an introduction, with the exception that ladies were always introduced to gentlemen regardless of rank.

4.If you arrived in town for an extended visit, it was customary to go around leaving your calling card.

5. When a formal visit was accepted or arranged, one wouldn't wear anything showy.

6. When a girl was presented at court, in the eyes of the Victorians, she transformed from being underage and off-limits to suddenly being marriageable.

7. look only within their own class for a mate. The common law customs of entail and primogeniture, which kept estates whole and in the hands of first-born males, had unfortunate repercussions for those seeking a marriage of mutual affection.

8. At balls, ladies generally had dance cards on which to write the names of their partners. According to Cassell's, a promise to dance, once made, was sacred and "should not on any account be broken."

9. When a Victorian gentleman wishes to propose, he first "ascertains the state of a lady's feelings towards himself before he makes a positive declaration of his love." He then had to seek out a blessing from the lady's father before the engagement was official.

Before he obtained this blessing, the couple had to suspend communication and "live towards each other as perfect strangers for the time" . This could be a while, as getting this blessing meant settling financial matters. A gentleman presented his own financial situation, and the family would present what fortune a lady had. A lady would generally get a portion of her fortune for her own use, and then the principal was put in a trust — the interest of which could go to the husband. Once official, if one party chose to break an engagement, the other could sue for damages.